Book Now That I'm Stronger by Valina R. Rudolph
Publication Date: December 13, 2013
Series: None
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Synopsis: "I did it." These three words, uttered by Brianna's father, changed her life forever. Confident in her father's innocence, Brianna had been convinced that the jury had made a mistake. Instead, with her father's admission of guilt, everything she believed to be true is suddenly called in to question. Heartbroken and confused, Brianna sets out to find out the truth about her past. But what she discovers is more than she could have ever imagined. From the aunt who helped raise her to the new love in her life, it seems as though everyone in her life has a secret agenda. Shattered a little more by each revelation, Brianna finds herself alone with no one to trust.
Overall Review:
Now That I'm Stronger seemed like the type of book that could really get my emotions going and make me really feel for the character, and that's exactly what happened. Right away we're thrown into Brianna's tragic story with her father in jail. She's has a naive way about her that she feels like her father could do no wrong and everyone else just wrongly accused him. When she finds out that the crimes against him were true, and her father wasn't who she made him out to be, her whole way of being just spirals out of control. Now That I'm Stronger doesn't have an actual, straight forward plot. To be honest it's more of different entries, though not quite literally written in that way, about Brianna's life and what she's going through. Things could be a little slow at times and there were also times where I just rolled my eyes because some of Brianna's problems were entirely her fault or she blew them way out of proportion, but the book as a whole is very emotional and very depressing as Brianna struggles to discover herself and come to terms with her whole life essentially being a lie. Brianna faces many problems and struggles and Rudolph writes it all in such a way that you essentially struggle right along side her. Now That I'm Stronger goes into some of the deeper and more detailed stories of drugs and, not trying to be racist here so please don't take offence, how drugs can pretty much control the more run down black community. Drugs are a fact, and I'm sure we've all known someone who has done drugs or dealt drugs, but Now That I'm Stronger goes a step beyond that and shows us how someone who uses or deals with drugs can affect the people they love. How some people's views on it can be entirely different from others. It definitely made me think a little more about the whole topic and now I like to hope that I won't judge people and their families so harshly for being caught up in the whole drug scene.
I felt for Brianna a lot throughout her journey, poor girl goes through struggle after struggle, revelation after revelation, betrayal after betrayal, and it all down right sucks. It just isn't fair some of the stuff that Brianna has to deal with or go through. Especially all this awful stuff so close to one another, time line wise. That being said, I do think that Brianna could be very impulsive at times and let her emotions get the better of her. If she was angry at someone for something, she'd avoid them and do things she wouldn't do with a level head just to spite them. I mean I get that she's been through so much so her mind is a little out of whack, but some of the decisions she makes just makes me want to groan or face palm. She can so easily make big decisions without at all thinking things through. Not to mention she can be way too indecisive. She thinks one thing, but someone she knows or trust thinks another, then all of a sudden she thinks the same thing they did even if it totally contradicts what she thought a moment before. I don't entirely hold this against her though. I personally thought all the things she did that went against who she was before all this happened because she wanted to run away from the person she was now. She wanted to escape the mess her life had become and I totally understand that.
The pace was a little slow and it took awhile for me to get into the story, but once I got in I didn't mind the slow pace very much because I still really felt for what was going on with Brianna. This is definitely a book about uncovering the truth but also being able to accept the truth as it is and move on with your life. Now That I'm Stronger really hit at my emotions because Rudolph was really able to get me to feel for Brianna in so many ways. I struggled alongside Brianna, I felt her sadness, her anger, her desperation. I understood where she was coming from and all the hardships she had to face. She's lived a pretty sheltered life so it's made her very naive, but with each new revelation her naivete is pretty much shattered. In some ways it saddened me to see it, but I knew that Brianna needed to lose that little girl way she looked at things to really comprehend the truth and be able to move on from it. Now That I'm Stronger also goes into the more darker and deeper aspects of the drug scene, so we get to discover more about that. People always assume they know all there is to know about drugs and the people who use or deal them, but really they don't. Now That I'm Stronger definitely paints a bigger and better picture of it all. While I really felt for Brianna and hated all the things she had to deal with, there were times that the problems she had were entirely her doing. She could be way too impulsive, easily manipulated, and just her emotions dictate everything. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with that, but she never really stopped to think about what she was doing or saying when she was angry or hurt. I didn't hold it against her though.
Overall Rating:
I give Now That I'm Stronger a 3 out of 5 star rating. While I really enjoyed it and it really got my emotions going, it could be far too slow at times and hard to get into. There were also times where I just wanted to hit something because I knew something bad was going to happen, or I knew Brianna was going to get into trouble, but Brianna made a silly or stupid decision anyway and it happened. I would recommend this book to people who like those emotional contemporaries. To people who like the books about discovering the truth about your past but also trying to figure out who you are. It was a good book, truly, but I personally just had a few issues with it. I'm surprised by how emotional it was to me when reading it, though! Thanks for reading!
3/5 stars
~Kayla~
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Valina Rudolph knew two things from a very young age: she wanted to be a lawyer and she loved to write fiction. She attended John Jay College in New York City, where she majored in Legal Studies and English and she received her law degree from Hofstra Law School. Rudolph currently works as an attorney in New York City. Her love of fiction writing has never waned and Now That I’m Stronger is her debut novel. Rudolph lives in Far Rockaway, New York with her husband.
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